Author Topic: I soooo need to get out more  (Read 6487 times)

mark78

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I soooo need to get out more
« on: 22:20:11, 24/07/09 »
Hello

This is completely my fault but over a number of years I've managed to isolate myself from others. I have very few friends and my embarrassment over this is probably being used an excuse to not go out there and do something about it. I can't exactly make friends with someone and then introduce him/her to my other friends because I haven't got any other friends...

I feel that in getting to know new people there's a good chance that my fairly dismal social situation will be painfully obvious and so I stay in my shell... I'm writing this at 10pm on Friday when most people are out and about...

How can I address this? I'll be pretty much starting from scratch, meeting new people, getting on with them and become friends etc.
I'm not very good at meeting new people and I'm often uneasy in social situations even with people I've known for a long time.
I'm literally starting from zero, does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do?

Many thanks and apologies if this message sounded grim!

Mark
« Last Edit: 22:25:56, 24/07/09 by mark78 »

celeste

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #1 on: 22:30:01, 24/07/09 »
Here you go-


quote :-

 New to manchester need friends
« on: Yesterday at 17:22:14 »   

Hey everyone i recently moved to manchester from hull and im lookin for a group of friends to go out with socialise and basically get paraletic with  if u fancy it let me kno im a nice guy get on with most ppl 20 years old but age dunt bother me u cud be 17 or 70 for all i care reply to this thread if u fancy being friends or including me into ur circle


biggr3g


Mark - pm him click on his name on the Nightlife thread, his profile will appear, underneath it will say send the person a private message
All that's necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing

mark78

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #2 on: 22:37:59, 24/07/09 »
Thanks but do you know of anything I can do involving established groups/societies?

I wouldn't want to arrange meetings through an internet forum with people who are complete strangers.

No disrespect to you or biggr3g but I hope you can understand my point.

celeste

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #3 on: 22:53:37, 24/07/09 »
Well Arthur Chappell is the socialite on here, perhaps you could ask him :)
All that's necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing

mark78

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #4 on: 23:07:05, 24/07/09 »
Is that someone on this forum?

celeste

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #5 on: 23:10:48, 24/07/09 »
Yes he posted on the Manchester Nightlife thread yesterday
All that's necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing

mark78

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #6 on: 23:14:33, 24/07/09 »
Thanks

Diane

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #7 on: 01:22:09, 25/07/09 »
Well,hey mark.

hey,what are u talking about? ;D living in a such a beautiful city like manchester and doing nothing with no one at 10am?? well,that's odd.

the good news is that you're not the only one that feels alone and a litlle shy and bla bla bla.there're thousands of guys like you.
but staying locked in your room and starring at your pc also won't help to find new Real friends.
celeste is right,you should contact the boy who posted yesterday a topic where he mentioned that he feels alone and would like to meet some new people.
just open that door and get out and have some fun  :D

nothing complicated  :)
 

arthurchappell

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #8 on: 01:55:24, 25/07/09 »
Hi Mark, I agree with points raised by Celeste & Diane -  I could easily list places you could go, - my list of pubs in Manchester for example - http://arthurchappell.me.uk/pubs.in.manchester.htm I can also recommend creative writing groups where the exercises will get you involved in communicating with others, monthly burlesque shows, performance poetry events, a science fiction society and even English Civil War re-enactment groups – it is often however not just a case of turning up – you can end up feeling lonely in a crowd if you don’t try to talk to others to some extent – going to a place would be the first step though.  If you want, head to one of the bars I’m going to and introduce yourself – at least you’ll have someone to chat to.  What do you want from the kind of nights out you seek? People to chat to, or a more romantic date with someone – not with me -   Manchester has something to offer anyone, so do take a step out and have an adventure at some point.
Arthur Chappell, writer,  Civil War Re-enactor, ex-cult member, socialite  http://arthurchappell.me.uk/

Facebook - http://profile.to/arthurchappell/

sergey

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #9 on: 09:54:53, 25/07/09 »
This is completely my fault...

don't consider this as a falt

I have very few friends

this is a very good thing actually, some people don't have any at all

I feel that in getting to know new people there's a good chance that my fairly dismal social situation will be painfully obvious ...

mate, compared with the fact that you can stay alone onward, your present fears are nothing, don't you agree?


I'm literally starting from zero, does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do?

you're gonna have to get rid of all your doubts, just try not thinking about them at least
in the meantime why not take up any sport? gym, swimming, box etc, you'll be able to find alot of new people with the same interests. or join, I don't know, historical reading evenings community, or whatever community, just don't seat at home. learning of a foreign language on some courses isn't a bad pastime, I met my girlfriend there!

mark78

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #10 on: 14:03:31, 25/07/09 »
I agree with Arthur and sergey, I think its about joining a group or looking to see what the region has to offer. That's why I blame for myself because I should have done this before and that's no one's fault but mine.

I don't agree with meeting up with a total stranger, I hope you can appreciate why.

Thanks to everyone for taking the time to write your responses, they are much appreciated.

sergey

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #11 on: 14:09:15, 25/07/09 »
bud, try to think about this under the different angle. this is not a fault at all.

I suggest you should watch one the recient Jim Carrey's movies "Don't Say No" if i'm not mistaken, that could give you some tips... after you've seen it you won't say "I cannot meet a total stranger"... after all why not

mark78

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #12 on: 14:38:49, 25/07/09 »
I appreciate everyone's advice but I am not going to arrange to meet up with a complete stranger.

It is much better, less awkward and far safer to meet people as part of some organised group or activity as mentioned in some of the earlier messages.

sergey

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #13 on: 14:54:31, 25/07/09 »
are you a boy or a girl? do you have a job/are you a student?

mark78

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Re: I soooo need to get out more
« Reply #14 on: 15:23:30, 25/07/09 »
Unusual questions...

My name is Mark, I'm a bloke, I have a job.